The Parent Muse
by Heather Ivester

Bring Your Kids Along for the Ride

"I really want to write," a young mother recently shared with me, shifting her six-month-old son on her hip, "but I’m so busy with kids." We chatted at the skating rink, pint-sized daredevils whizzing by us. Rock music blared in the background, and our conversation was peppered with interruptions (from kids of course).
 

This woman had sought me out, one of my local column readers, a desperate look in her eyes. I knew the look because it's the way I appear when I've missed a day or two of scribbling in my journal or tapping on the keyboard. Without writing, I'd feel like a canary with its beak wired shut in a cage. The stories must come out, in the same way a songbird must sing.

My advice to her—bring your kids into your writing—inspired this month's column. The world needs fresh stories from parent writers! The world needs your essays, your how-to-articles, your poetry and fiction. As a parent, you have something unique to offer editors and readers.

When author Leif Enger was writing his bestselling debut novel, Peace Like a River, he based his main character, 11-year-old Reuben Land, on his son who was struggling with asthma. He says in a Bookpage interview, "We didn't know how to treat it. We didn't know how to prevent it. As a parent you want to work a miracle. You would take your son's place if you could ... All I knew at the beginning was that the narrator was asthmatic and his father did miracles." If you've read Enger's novel, you can understand how well his sentiments translated into fiction, leading to an award-winning novel loved by millions.

For non-fiction writers, parenthood can also influence your work in positive ways. You understand the struggles of parent readers like you, who are busy, tired, and stressed-out at times. If you're writing about finance, you'll be thinking of readers who need to save for their children's college educations. Health articles can be geared toward helping parents maximize their energy and live long so they can see their children grow up.

You'll also want to consider how a child would be impacted by your words. What if one of your own children picked up the book or article you're writing? Is it something uplifting and positive? If your writing is full of profanity, violence, or sex, how will this impact a future generation? As Christian writers, we can better understand the heart of our heavenly father who only wants to give good and perfect gifts to His children (James 1:9).

Our love of books and the written word can be passed down to our children through imitation. When I see my daughters scribbling before bedtime in their journals, I know they've picked up this habit from me. In her April 2006 newsletter, author Keri Wyatt Kent shares an exciting moment when she brought her kids into her writing journey:
 

Resources for Writing Parents

Writer ... Interrupted
Gina Conroy and other contributors share daily tips on honing the writing craft while balancing family life. This site, which includes a webring, is a community of "writers interrupted by the daily tasks of parenting and paying jobs, carpools and business meetings, homeschooling and housekeeping, and we're learning to be content in this season God has called us to."

Yesterday, the UPS man delivered the first copy of my new book, Listen: Finding God in the Story of Your Life. Delighted, I showed it to the kids, and Melanie, 12, held the book up to her face and inhaled deeply through her nose. "It smells so good, Mom. It smells like Barnes and Noble!"

I love that my daughter shares my love of all things literary, including the smell of a new book. I felt happy about the book, and about her delight. Beyond that, I felt grateful, because there is something new that's blooming in my life: I am learning how to stop and celebrate the good things.

Here are three more ways you can bring your family into your world as a writer:

1. Put yourself into your characters. In the same way Enger put himself into the father in his first novel, put yourself into real-to-life mom characters, which are popular with women readers. Christian writers Sharon Hinck, Tracey Bateman, and Kimberly Stuart have connected with their mom-lit audiences by injecting plenty of humor into their stories. Your mom characters' dialogue can't help but be fresh when it's something you said only minutes ago!
    
2. Write for children. Sally Stuart's Christian Writer's Market Guide is full of publications seeking articles and stories for kids. Since you're surrounded by the very audience these publishers are seeking, why not write for the age group of your own children?
    
3. Ask your kids for help with research. Ask them questions about topics you're writing about. Fill your articles with fresh anecdotes from your family life. Another idea: Informally interview your children's friends when they're sitting around your dinner table (but remember to get permission from their parents if you want to formally interview/quote them in your work, take their photographs, etc.). This will give you more incentive to keep up with what's happening in their world.

Dandi Mackall, author of over 400 books, said in a recent interview, "My writing career has paralleled my children's lives. When they were little, I wrote board books and picture books. I knew first-hand the humor, problems, language, and lives of my child readers. My kids got older, and I wrote chapter books, then middle-grade fiction, then young adult books. I always knew the lingo, what was in, what was out, what was troubling."

Mackall noted that she believes parenting can spur a writer's spiritual growth as well. "What mother can go through the agonies and anxieties of motherhood without glimpsing how God cares for us?" she asks. "We begin to get an idea about sacrifice, about loving so much that we'd give our lives for our children. And that's a piece of the puzzle of why Jesus would sacrifice for us."

Although writing is a solitary activity much of the time, don't shut your family out of your writing journey. Instead, take the scenic route and bring them along for the ride. You'll have a lot more fun when you do.

© 2007 Heather Ivester