The Parent
Muse
by Heather Ivester
Making Time to Write
When Katherine
Paterson began writing her children's novel, Bridge to Terabithia,
she wasn't thinking about awards or blockbuster movies. Those would
come later. Instead, she felt compelled to make sense of a personal
tragedy in her son David's life.
At age ten,
David grieved the recent loss of his best friend. What's a mother
to do? As a writer, Katherine wanted to build a bridge with words,
some way to make sense of this horrible event in her son's life.
She was busy,
with four young children to take care of. Yet she wrote. Page after
page, until a bridge was built. The bridge to a fantasy world, Terabithia.
Her book won
the Newbery Award in 1978, and in her acceptance speech, Katherine
quoted from Hosea 2:15 in which the prophet says, "The valley
of trouble has been turned into the gate of hope." (For more
information, see Katherine
Paterson's Bridge to Terabithia interview,
Walden Media website.)
As parents who
write, this is what we're called to do. We're all trying to make
sense of our world and share a message of hope through story.
When we embarked
on the journey of parenting, most of us had no idea how difficult
THOSE days would be: the days when a stomach virus hits the whole
family, the dog chews up the birthday toy, the playground bully
says the meanest thing ever, the vase (or heart) gets broken.
Instead of feeling
hopeless, we writers turn to God through our notebooks or keyboards.
Help me, Lord! we cry, letting the Spirit intercede for
us, with groans our words can't express. Yet in plowing through,
we often discover our troubled spots give us hope—and in turn,
we give our readers hope.
It's a high
calling, to be a writing parent, yet an exciting one. As we attempt
to leave footprints through the stories we record, we begin to understand
God the Parent, who also traveled this same journey.
Yet how in the
world can we make time to integrate writing into our family life?
As a mother of five children ten and under, I know the challenges.
My house is usually bursting with noise and commotion—and
the quiet words I long to write usually appear in my mind when I'm
washing dishes, hands too wet and soapy to grab a notebook.
The truth is—I
can't write some of the complex stories I want to write now. So
I do what I can. I focus on short pieces: essays, columns, blog
posts, devotionals, and (yes) emails. This is how I'm gradually
building my body of work.
These snippets
are clipped and filed into folders, and someday maybe I'll write
a parenting book or compile my columns into something useful for
others. Maybe the stories will become part of a novel... or be fleshed
out into brilliant magazine articles. For now, they're like a word
scrapbook of my life. Scenes and dialogue I add to every day (sometimes
every hour).
While riding
the bus today chaperoning a group of first graders to the circus,
a vital piece of my novel puzzle appeared out of nowhere, and I
couldn't wait to jot this into my computer file. When I hear my
kids or their friends talking, I imagine my characters saying these
words and wondering where the conversations will fit into the plot.
It keeps my mind busy and life interesting.
I also seek
the help of mentors. How do the great writers who are also parents
do it? Award-winning Christian author, Madeleine L'Engle, said in
an interview of her early parenting days, "I was simply struggling
to find time to write. I was a terribly busy mom, with one child
still in diapers. Every five minutes or so, I wrote a few lines.
I wrote the draft of A Wrinkle in Time in two weeks."
(The entire interview is from the DVD bonus feature. "A Wrinkle
in Time.")
Some parents
find time to write because their own children demand it. Jonathan
Rogers, father of six and author of the recently published Wilderking
Trilogy, says he wrote his novels because his kids gave him a specific
audience. "Once I got well into The Bark of the Bog
Owl, the boys were demanding more chapters... They held
me accountable— pretty loudly at times," he said in an
interview on Novel
Journey.
If you're a
writing parent struggling to find time to write, here are three
tips that will help you succeed:
- Make
Space for Your Writing. Find a specific place in your
home where you can be quiet and alone for a few minutes each day.
Your children probably have a play area or room where they have
their toys. All you need is your journal or computer and maybe
a few more books, like your Bible and dictionary. I wrote my first
book from a tiny corner of my bedroom—but at least I found
some quiet there!
- Savor
the Pleasures of Parenting. Give yourself permission
to step away from your writing guilt-free. Play outside. Go on
field trips. Eat ice cream, pet furry zoo animals, attend wild
and noisy birthday parties. The more you live and savor the time
with your children, the more fodder you'll have for your writing.
- Seek
Mentors who Integrate Writing and Family Life. Be on
the lookout for authors who also have strong relationships with
their families. Ask them how they do it. How do they gain support
from their children and spouses? Pay special attention to book
dedications—often, a writer will thank his or her family.
This will give you a springboard for asking them the question,
"How can I be a good parent, spouse (if married), AND carve
out a writing career?"
In the months
to come, these are areas I'm hoping to explore in more detail in
this new column for writing parents. If you have any tips or success
stories, I'd love to hear from you. Let's journey together. I raise
my coffee mug to you!
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